Being Awake: Curse or Blessing?

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To all my friends out there who know what’s really going on… To all my conspiracy theorist friends… Yes, sometimes it’s a curse and not always a blessing to be awake. Awakening is the most liberating, alienating, excruciating, empowering, lonely, confusing, freeing, frightening, expansive journey. If you find yourself struggling as you try to process all this insanity, you are not alone. No one talks about the darkness that accompanies awakening, or the GRIEF. Not only grieving the life and illusions you once had but the realization that almost everything you thought you once knew, is a LIE. The beliefs you’ve held, people you’ve trusted, principles you were taught- ALL LIES.

Shattering illusions is RARELY an enjoyable experience. There is a considerable amount of discomfort that comes with growth and the grieving process doesn’t stop there. With these newfound realizations, you then find yourself grieving all over again. Grieving the loss of many relationships with people who just don’t “get it”.

Feeling alone; being ridiculed and shamed, not only by the masses but for many of you, your very own family and friends too. Feeling like you no longer have much in common with the people you are surrounded by. Struggling with carrying on bullshit, shallow conversations that lack substance with those who are still fast asleep. Even feeling disconnected from your entire support system because they can’t see what you see. Some even grieve the loss of their ignorance- because “ignorance is bliss” and reality is harsh.

Awakening can be a lonely road and you will often find yourself journeying alone. There is no way to sugarcoat it- Awakening to the realities of this world is brutal. It will have you running through the entire gamut of human emotions. You have to master the art of diving down the darkest of rabbit holes only to come out and still function in daily life, and that’s a skill people don’t talk about enough. Some of you are struggling with feeling disconnected from family and friends, it’s as though they exist in another world. Please know you are not alone, and not only are you not alone, you have an entire tribe standing with you. We may be separated by miles, but we are DEEPLY connected; in purpose and in spirit. ~ Author unknown.

Your limp, your exhaustion, your burdens, are not always your weakness for in your weakness that is where you often find God.
To the weary anon: May this writing bless you.


Note to Readers:

I couldn’t said it much better, but I’ll give it a try.

Yes, both close and extended family wrote me off years, even decades ago, because of my spiritual search and the choices I made. I just didn’t “fit” into their box of expectations. I’ve lost friends and acquaintances along the way, too, sometimes due to moving away, but more often just not resonating with what was shared.

I’ve gone from spiritual group to group to group and left them all, as the portion expected from those who “belong” is typically spiritual and emotional sovereignty, the expectation that you will toe the line of what is acceptable within the group.

Long ago, I realized I was a systems buster. The only way to bust a system is to experience it from the inside, which is what I have been doing, and frankly, what most awakened or awakening people in the world have been doing especially during the past three years.

Breaking free of an illusion, whatever it consists of, is an act of great courage and strength… as well as humility. It is also an uncomfortable process at times especially if you remain in the vicinity of those who no longer “hear” you.

I’ve gone through many trials and adjustments, but have always returned to the abiding peace that exists within. Seeking my connection with Source has been my salvation; I do not need someone to tell me that I am “saved”. I know it. I feel it. In my heart space, the quantum field that exists within my body’s DNA.

One of the first and perhaps hardest illusions to break through is the illusion that you are the body. We are not the body. It is a borrowed vehicle from the bloodlines of our parents, to be used and lived in for one lifetime. “We” are consciousness, eternal, unlimited consciousness, fractals of Source, and chose to come into a particular body to experience physical existence, for lessons, for missions, and sometimes for simple enjoyment. Together we are playing on the world’s stage. Let us play nice, become a federated world and expand the horizons for all life.

There is so much ahead for humanity. One time line. One humanity. A Star Trek future.


P.S. Our “parents” the Seeders are very proud of us. They watch with anticipation to see the culmination of the scientific experiment they set into motion millions of years ago… Six of their motherships are currently in our orbit. We are well-protected.

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