I am ready to die…

This was my first thought as I opened my eyes this morning. No, I’m not depressed, no, I’m not suicidal and yes, I want to continue living. So why do I feel comfortable with that thought?

Because I’m finally ready to let go…

I’m ok with letting go of life as we knew it, of reality as we had created it, of religion as we understood it, of relationships as we experienced them, of materialism as we craved it, of money as we worshipped it, I’m ok with letting go of everything we once thought had to be the way it was, because now I know that it can be so much better.

We were wrong, we were fooled, we were ignorant, we were naive, we were sinners, we were stupid, we were unevolved…

I no longer wish to be any of those things. I am ready for the ‘me’ that once lived in that myopic mental paradigm of limitation, materialism and ego, to die. So yes, I’m ready to die, I’m letting go…

Unknowingly, what has afflicted me in the past few weeks, has been the mourning of my own death. I couldn’t quite understand what was happening, why I felt so out of place, so uncomfortable, so fed up, so fatigued, so frustrated, so anxious… But now it’s starting to make sense.

It started with some bad news five weeks ago, that forced me to have to carry out a forensic analysis of my finances (the synchronicity of the word ‘forensic’ is unbelievable). The process inevitably became a trip down memory lane, as I reviewed in detail, every step I had taken in the last 10 years and beyond, in the form of credit card receipts, invoices, contracts etc…

It made me wonder, why? Why was I being forced to relive everything? Such a detailed recount of every move I had made…?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is that everything happens for a reason and I knew there had to be some meaning behind this…

Today it hit me, that those that have had a near death experience always claim to have seen their entire life flashing past. I was literally reviewing my whole life as I slowly drowned in paperwork. The process of my death had started, but I did not know it yet.

I was angry, I was tired, I was upset and everything felt overwhelming. I had no energy, my mojo had definitely left me and so in my uncomfortable despair, I decided to take a couple of days off to gather my strength.

I went on a short trip with my mum, my sister and my youngest daughter. It was the first time ever we took a girls only trip. We mostly walked and talked which is what I needed, but even that trip turned into a totally unplanned visit to places loaded with memories shared with a special someone from my past… Once more, life was giving me the chance to bid farewell to the life of the Laura I had known, for soon, she was to be no longer.

The person I used to be, will be missed to some degree by myself and by those who knew her and still want me to be her, but she’s almost gone now.

As I write these words, I am overcome by a deep nostalgia. Like I said, there is a natural mourning process one must go through.

I am however, very excited about the prospect of being a closer reflection of my soul, a more truthful incarnation of my spirit and so I am ready to let go of everything I have been, in order to become who I need to be for the future that I dream.

I share this in the hope that it helps others make sense of what they might be experiencing, for it’s painful and disconcerting and it’s almost impossible to explain, at least without coming across like a total nut case!

So you could say I’m ready to die, because I’m willing to live! To live a different life, in a new world, with greater awareness, with higher consciousness, with limitless potential, with boundless creativity, with LOVE as the energy driving everything and with those, who like me, were ready to die for it.

The new ‘me’ cares little if you think me mad, so take these words as a frank confession of the incredible process I’m going through, which thankfully, I believe, is being experienced by many…

A new world cannot be born without the old one dying and our old selves must die with it, for we would have had no place in the new one…

Let’s shed the fear of ‘death’ and embrace it, so we can finally become alive in an entirely new experience of life.
🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

https://t.me/LauraAbolichannel

~ ~ ~

Notes to Readers:

Letting go… now that’s a process I have had some experience with… My long-time readers certainly have witnessed this as I have undergone several alterations in directions.

Well, at the moment I’m not feeling up to writing a lot… I’m still dealing with a cold that came on rather suddenly.

How many of us have had to let go of their old lifestyles, of people, of places, of memories?

The new cannot be born without the old dying first. The ego must relinquish its control before the spirit can enter and guide us to new heights. Be ready.

Eliza Ayres

https://sunnysjournal.com