Eliza: Deconstruction is Part of the Inner Journey

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Eliza: “Deconstruction; Part of the Inner Journey”

Note to Readers:  This piece was written ten years ago.  I am not currently living alone; I share a small house with two housemates, who thankfully are at work during the week.  I do spend a lot of time alone and like it that way.  I have long given up or let go of the notion that I am socially inept.  I just prefer to reside in my own frequency.  Those who are envoys from other worlds will understand.  At this point, I do not have any great insights on whether I am a starseed/envoy or not, but it doesn’t really matter.  I do realize now that I am more awake than many and less aware of the details (laws/regs/rules) than some.  I am far more adaptable than many and stubborn in my own way.  In short, I am quite human while incarnated on Terra.  I’ve come a long way in self-acceptance; I am still working on the self-love bit, but the task is proceeding.  I know that once I get my own space, again, I will be more than pleased.  To smell a forest dripping after a sudden rain, to hear the birds sing in the hardwoods, to listen to a stream as it drops down a steep slope, to see flowers blooming for no one in particular in the midst of a meadow… these things bring me a quiet joy.  Soon I will be able to reclaim them and make them a part of my daily life.  And now onto my process of deconstruction:

The angels, who are ever hovering on the borders of consciousness, started a message: “We are the Angelic Legions of the Divine Mother. In supporting you, we serve the Mother in bringing heaven to earth. You are our family; you are doing the same by being human and living through the experience of being in a body in a world going through a tremendous transition.”

And there the transmission stopped. Nothing more has come. No visitations. No insights. Nothing.

I let it go for the time being and did some housework, always a form of active meditation for me and some gardening. Still nothing came in the form of a message. And then it occurred to me – I’m in a state of reconstruction or rather, deconstruction, at the moment, in present time. All I need do is to simply be. Right. Well, it is far easier to write about “being” than to actually just let go. The ego or rational mind likes to justify its existence by setting up scenarios and what ifs; it takes patience and persistence to kindly say, “I’m fine doing nothing here right now.”

Focus, intent, and attention are all important parts of the process of becoming reconnected, although at the same time, it is apparent that we’ve never really been disconnected; we just forgot who we were. It is easy to forget that we were the ones who came here, out of choice, and in so doing gave permission to forget who we were. In other words, we allowed ourselves to forget who we were so we could undergo the adventure of relearning what we already know. We voluntarily surrendered our sovereignty and took on the limitations of the Veils that had been artificially constructed around the world and each and every human being here. And now we’re in the process of ripping those same Veils apart, through our individual action, meditation, and purpose and drive to reconnect with the Wholeness that is our true being.

We are in the process of discovering that we are connected in a multitude of ways to the rest of the Universe, even to Universes, something that is hard for the rational 3D mind to comprehend. We are discovering that we are a part of the Creator, that some of us have been Masters, that we have connections to extraterrestrial civilizations, and even to other dimensions and timelines. We are discovering that each of us lives on a multitude of timelines, densities, planets, Universes and so on; it is somehow humbling to discover that there is no end to us. And yet, we still struggle in our daily life, in the simple yet complex world of relationship with the “self” mirrored in the other individuals who exist within the world that we have each created as a result of our focus and intent.

While each of us is in the midst of this period of deconstruction, of transition from an outwardly controlled life to one that is centered within, we need to give ourselves a lot of latitude. Just this past week, I have had to deal with the re-emergence of a profound sense of loneliness. I do live alone and actually enjoy the solitude most of the time, but there is always a sense that I’m not good enough to have a relationship, that somehow I have failed to meet my purpose by being socially inept. Truth of the matter is that while I am in the process of deconstruction, it is better for me to be able to focus on my process rather than expend the time and energy and focus to build a relationship. Still, the rational mind wants to insist that I look outside of myself to discover connection. So, I continually have to battle myself, within, for command of what direction, what I wish to focus on, what my intent is, what is my purpose that lies before me… or simply let go of it all.

Being part Scot, I’m naturally stubborn, so I persist. I’m learning to appreciate myself for what I am in the moment, even if that understanding is uncomfortable. Everything that isn’t me that my rational mind has sought to control me with (you’re not good enough, you’re too fat, you should… you ought to do this in order to be…) is in the process of going away, of being let go. There is resistance; it is natural. The ego or rational mind has been in charge for a very long time. It doesn’t enjoy being relegated to its real task of protection of the body. The discovery that the body of any given lifetime is simply a vehicle even negates this task. The soul is eternal. The body is temporal and ephemeral; it exists to house the soul so it might be able to experience life in form. And so, the rational mind begins to feel threatened. It takes a willingness to reinstate your own sovereignty within to overcome this persistent assault. It is a simple process but takes a certain firmness of will and intent. Aligning your will with the Will of the Creator is an aid in this process.

I’m not sure if I can even communicate much of the process that I am currently undergoing and will be for some time into the future, as much of the process exists outside of the ability of words to convey meaning. Yet words are all we have, currently, as means to communicate with each other. It is good to know that words will be eventually superseded by the use of our higher sensory gifts, namely by our feelings and through the use of telepathy.

As humans we already communicate to each other through non-verbal means, through body language, through feelings, through the subtle energy fields that each of our bodies carries; the etheric and finer bodies. We are all a part of a complex and beautiful web of life, through which energy and light travels at speeds well beyond the so-called speed of light as defined by earth physics. Our connection to each other, to life, to our planet and to life beyond, has been purposefully occluded by those who would control us from the outside. The controls are no longer effectual; that much is clear to be seen even by mass media sources, as whole countries are erupting into civil unrest against any kind of authority that does not emanate from within the individual.

All of us, whether currently studying consciously as part of the process of ascension or undergoing an individuated process guided by inner mentors or simply being a part of a protest movement – we are all undergoing a profound shift in our self-awareness. We are reawakening to the knowledge that we are the ones that we have waited for through the ages. We are the Masters who have returned as each of us discovers the mastery within, through reconnection with the fullness of our individual and collective divinity.

Through the alchemical balancing of feminine and masculine energies within, we undergo the birthing of the Christ within each of us. We are the Holy Family. Each of us is divine. Each of us is now in the process of learning the truth. For some, it will take longer. For others, those who are presently being called the Wayshowers, the process is already quite mature. The divine babe is being born; the chrysalis is breaking, and the butterfly will come forth. We are evolving humanity, from within.

Whatever your life experience holds for you, know that it can be changed, transformed, but it takes a willingness to step into the great unknown, to relinquish control and to allow the spirit within to take command of the process. Letting go takes trust and it is this trust that I am currently struggling with, but I know that this is also part of the process of deconstruction so something new can be built in its stead.

So, after managing to get out a fair amount of words, I’m still not sure if I am clear in my meaning. It is certainly a time when we need to be kind to ourselves, to understand that while we might not appear to be perfect in our understandings and our actions, that we are perfect in our completeness. It is that paradox that exists beyond the understanding of the rational mind. You just need to experience it to understand without the need of words to explain. You just know. And the sense of knowing, the sense of feeling good about oneself is what will carry me through the process of birthing my divinity into the world of form. I hope it will do the same for you.

Some day we will all walk upon the earth in fellowship, brimming over with love, compassion, and respect for each other. That time is not now, except within each of our burning hearts as we undergo the alchemical process of becoming what we already are, human angels, enveloped in glowing bodies of light, color and beauty. We will walk in human form, but we will be more than human. And the earth will be more than a planet of rock, water, and dust. She will glow with light and energy, a radiance that emanates from her great center, like a giant Heart, beating a rhythm that moves through all of us and those who visit her sacred presence.

Go in peace, dear sisters, and brothers, as we travel together on the path laid out before us. It is a rare adventure to act as a midwife, assisting in birthing a world back into sacred beauty, even as we birth our own Christhood, but we are going there together.


Copyright © 2013-23 by Eliza Ayres. All Rights Reserved. Permission is given to copy and distribute this material, provided the content is copied in its entirety and unaltered, is distributed freely, and this copyright notice and links are included.  No recordings and/or videos of this written material is permitted. http://www.bluedragonjournal.com/

Another note to Readers:

You’ll find in reading some of my more personal pieces I refer to “the Mother”. For the benevolent ETs, Mother is our Galaxy, which they name “Nataru”. Mother is also the planet upon which you live, the planetary matrix that your soul is evolving within. For those who are starseeds/envoys from other worlds who answered the Call to assist Terra in freeing herself and her people, upon the completion of your journey and mission here, you will return to your own Mother. For all of us who reside within the Milky Way Galaxy, Nataru, She is Mother.

Creator Source has no gender; it simply is… and from some sources (see Cosmic Brilliance) actually “lives” in another higher Universe. I am not sure what to make of that knowledge, but it is intriguing. I do know that many Terrans have a long way to go before they overcome their fear of the unknown, which includes the other races and species that not only share this galaxy, but also our own planet. Eventually we will get there or our children will be more open to seeing “other” as a part of the One, the Cosmic Consciousness that contains us all.


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