Eliza: On Being An Observer this Time Around

What a curious notion, that my soul came in with the agreement to primarily play the role of being the observer. Rather than being a full participant in life, I have primarily observed life vicariously through others, whether through my reading of history, historical novels, watching movies and videos. My day-to-day life has been rather uneventful in contrast. Perhaps my soul thought I needed a little space to heal in this lifetime.

While I may be a starseed, even a walk-in, that part of my journey is not presently clear to me. I released all my former stories and beliefs… rather easily if I must say… once I had an opportunity to spend more time alone, starting first during the Covid-19-related lockdowns.  During this time, after I was able to release any anxiety, I was feeling within – more of what I was picking up from the collective – I began to journal out feelings and visions that were rising up to the surface.  What came up at first was the first cracks in the narrative about me being a Pleiadian, simultaneously serving in the Pleiadian fleet as a specialty commander.  I was still writing my books about a supposed past life of mine in the Pleiades as a male commander in the fleet, although a very odd one.  My life as I visualized it then was as a crystal master, seer, psychic, sensitive, tactician and strategist… an unusual combination.  Whether this vision of this lifetime was correct or not… the setting wasn’t, but I didn’t arrive at that realization until after the primary writing of the novel was complete.  Later on, I discovered through further research (which I should have done from the beginning) that the Pleiades I was told existed… doesn’t. It was an entirely fictional construct, perhaps of Archonic origin (I learned that last little bit in 2021!).

To complicate matters, this lifetime I had just written about was based on a past life (lives) of my second walk-in, a being known as Sundeelia.  Sunny as she was called affectionately (by some) was rather feisty, a bit (a lot) arrogant and sure of herself.  And probably a wholly constructed alter-ego of mine.  I have let her go, as well as Tazjma, my first alleged walk-in (aka “Lady Taz”).

I suppose all of this would totally confuse a ‘normie’ (that somewhat derogatory term designating someone who is thoroughly mind-programmed to believe the MSM narrative) but somehow, I’ve managed to plow my way through and forward.

So, at the moment, I am simply Eliza, living in an Earth human avatar on a planet that is undergoing a shift of Ages… well, that’s quite something, isn’t it? 

It is rather astounding that I haven’t gone completely bonkers given all of the various alters I have experienced, but, if you ever met me in person, you would simply view me as a somewhat quiet, observant older female… that is, until I start speaking about things that do excite me… like gardening, art, history, camping/overlanding, hiking, exploring… and so on. 

I’ve never been big on social gatherings. Family dinners were okay, but parties among contemporaries? Hmmm, I never really fit in and get uncomfortable playing games.  I have the ability to read people, at least to some degree and get uncomfortable when the outer doesn’t quite vibe with the inner… I can tell when a person is lying or prevaricating about something.

So… we come to healing the inner child.  I was just listening to a great video presentation by a very brave woman, Rebecca Rose, given at the recent Secret Space Conference in Grafton, Ohio (I think) and sponsored (put on) by Journey to Truth Podcast.  Rebecca has shared some of her journey and healing process on her YouTube Channel.  She was/is an experiencer of multiple abductions, the Montauk Project, cloned and created into an augmented human slave by one of the military black ops programs, run in collusion with the Dracos (Ciakahrr Reptilians). Now some 50 years of age, she is undergoing the gradual healing of what memories that manage to surface of her experiences.  She survived. Many who have been abducted haven’t been quite so fortunate.

I’m not suggesting that I share any of this kind of background, but whether or not any of us was an abductee, all of us who are aware, understand intuitively that we incarnated into a fucked up environment. Instinctively, intuitively we knew that something wasn’t right. I remember nights when my parents fought over something in the kitchen. Not long after that, I became the focus of my father’s attention and was gradually groomed into an incest relationship. Fortunately, I was an older teen… more fortune, I wasn’t shared by my parent with any of his friends. And I was able to stop the whole thing when I started working after school evenings and was out of reach. I have wondered what prompted this sort of behavior coming from an otherwise intelligent, even brilliant person.  The best I can come up with, is that my father was probably the subject of incest when he was young, whether by his stepfather or within the environs of the DeMolays, a branch of the Freemasons meant for young men.  Whatever it was, father really wasn’t fully aware of what he was doing, so it may also have been some sort of entity possession.

Given that both sides of the family had connections to the Freemasons through The Eastern Star, I could have gone that way, too, but avoided it. Intuitively I steered clear of joining the Rainbow Girls. Once I even attended part of an Eastern Star meeting, invited there by my great Aunt… but I wasn’t the bit interested in following some kind of cultish behavior.

Another sidestepping of fate perhaps occurred when my mother vetoed my attending the ‘special’ advanced classes given to some students during our grade schools days.  Perhaps my test scores weren’t particularly high, but I do remember my mother steadfastly refusing to ever divulge my IQ score to me.  Later, as an adult, I idly got a couple of those tests available online and came up with a score of 145.  I noted that I am particularly good at picking out patterns in multiple question type tests.  Pattern recognition is, apparently, one of my gifts.

So… apparently, I didn’t experience any abductions and off-world adventures as a youngster, although I spent quite a bit of time reading stories, starting with Andre Norton novelettes when I was in grade school. When I discovered the books of JRR Tolkien in the library, I knew… again, intuitively, that at least some of his histories was based on real history, although suppressed history, that had become part of myth and legend over the centuries. Tolkien was a doctor of language, particularly Anglo-Saxon and Germanic languages.

Back to healing the inner wounded child. I remember when I was young, I carried quite a bit of fear within my body. Remember… I was born into the post-WWII era, the Cold War period. When I was born, my father was stationed temporarily in Alaska. He was a radar specialist. Later, he went on to work for IBM and was frequently on military bases, universities, and at military-industrial companies like Lockheed… servicing their huge computers.

Years later, I discovered quite by chance… or actually experienced a remembrance of a scene from WWII… having been shot down by the Germans over Eastern France.  I was shot in the leg and bled out on an empty field while being stared at by some German soldiers who were investigating the crash site.  At least that was the story I arrived at much later… Apparently, I had been the pilot, possibly part of the flight crew of a RAF bomber.  Lots of pilots and planes were shot down before the Americans became involved in the conflict.  I wasn’t around to see the ‘end’ of that war.

My wounded child was traumatized just by being back here, although I intellectually understand I agreed to return to Terra, perhaps even wanted to come back to be here during this transitional period.  Then, I came in during the Cold War. Can you imagine how I felt in grade school when we were instructed on what to do in case of an attack from the Soviets?  At the time, we were living in Anchorage, Alaska, and were instructed to go to trains that would carry us to safety.  All I could think about was I didn’t want to leave my mother, to be separated from my family. My little body carried a great deal of separation anxiety as a result.  Why do grown-ups enjoy traumatizing little people so much?  It hasn’t let up since I ‘grew up’; if anything, it has gotten way worse…

The reason I am sharing this is to inform people that everyone who is alive on this planet has undergone trauma simply be being here. Even though I wasn’t an abductee, in the military, or what have you, I have felt the anxiety emanating from the human collective. It has taken me years of observation to realize that this anxiety is usually not my own. And I also began to understand that the creation of fear was being done on purpose for a variety of reasons, many having to do with a regressive alien agenda that has played out on this planet for many centuries. Perhaps this was the reason why I and many others like me came here to Terra, to ferret out the origins of the dark agenda and to break its hold on humanity forever.  In my own humble fashion, I hope I have managed to give my higher self, greater clarity, to release karmic debts from many lifetimes spent as a warrior in many star systems. Now, I want to continue working on raising my individual frequency in recognition of that particular goal as being a worthy one pursuing.

Namaste to all,

Eliza Ayres